I use to stop short on prayers only. I prayed that I will be healthy, happy, in abundance etc. I daydream that - that one day...the perfect everything will be at my disposal, and only then that I will be fully satisfied... I use to imagine that "magic something" will come ( usually from out side, up there, beyond the stars) tap my shoulder and with all of its splendours will bathe me with wonderful things. Just like those Disney productions...tra..la...la..la..laa...one day...not too far from today.
But then... I began to listen to my own prayers, hopes and dreams... really listen and ponder to the words I mutter...and mirror those prayers on my own every day choices.
And I smile...even laughed at it...how on earth can I be healthy if I do not put my focus, commitment and behaviour towards being healthy? Praying to be happy, love/loved and fulfilled...now that is a pretty ambitious hope no? If all I can see is the bad side of things? Or now and then choosing to fall into the "victim bracket" of life's journey? Praying to be knowledgable if all I do is put my focus on one sided only? Restricted my mind to things that I hold dearly and not brave enough to venture out of my secluded box?
I am quiet certain that at least some of us had been on those "confused road"... when our prayers/hopes/dreams do not manifest in our "reality". It seems the more we pray the more we are down in the rut. The more hopes the more impossible to achieve etc. At the end...sometimes it is more like a rat race rather than a wonderful journey. The thing is...we tend to focus on the end results only and too often we fail to appreciate the process and endless opportunity to learn along the way.
For example, when we pray and hope to be happy...the circumstances that we are in sometimes "compelled" us to be otherwise. Everything is everything else other than happiness. But...is that true? What is happiness and being happy? Is it only at times when everything is well and going according to our wishes? Or can we afford to be happy and find happiness although things seem to be chaotic and out of control? Do we have that kind of strength to be happy in the face of uncertainty and despair? What kind of happiness that we are actually praying for? The same as praying and hoping to be in abundance...can we afford to still feel in abundance when reality dictates otherwise?
When we pray to be patient and loving...we tend to find circumstances that forced us to do other wise. Have you asked yourself, what does it mean? A many times before I have been in similar situation, until I am able to root myself and ponder... I am giving myself a situation/condition/drama to help me understand the true meaning of patience and loving. I am giving myself a chance to remove me from such circumstances and rise up to the challenges. Was I doubtful? Of course, fearful? Certainly. But I realise this is part of the answer to my prayer, part of my journey that I have to owned it up. And know that I am capable of learning the ways to be patient and loving in what ever situation that life chose to play with me.
The same with happiness and abundance...for nature do not come in values or labels... we tend to put those values and labels based on our own past experiences. We hold on so dearly to our memories while trying to live our self in the future. And neglect the present. ( doesn't quiet add up does it?)
In essence we are all looking for the same thing, to be Free, to have Love and to be Wholesome. The FLoW that we are looking is within each and every one of us. Since we are an intelligent being, we create our own reality, we added zest to it: challenges, fear, and doubts. We made ourself forget who we really are. And then we go on about our daily lives praying and praying base on fear and doubts trying to cope on the game we created.
The truth is:
I use my sight to feel,
I use words to create,
I use my hearing to see,
I use my touch to remember.
Look only to the things that will make me grow as human being;
Say something that will only make this world a better place;
Listen to something that my soul can recognise;
Touch the heart with all its splendours.
We are always creating and recreating our lives...constantly changing right at this very minute. Of course the past is important but only as learning curves not more than that. Believe that you are not who you are ten years ago, an hour ago or a minute ago...you are always afresh...ready to take new things every moment you draw your breath.
We must truly believe that we are an amazing being, capable of mastering our destiny. Make space in your mind, your heart and attitude to create something amazing. Act on you prayers, hopes and desires. When a challenge comes along...don't be riddled by it...you have the answer to its trickery.
I believe when one is enlighten it does not mean that they became a wizard and know it all. But they become truly aware and consciously responsible for their own thoughts and actions. Understanding the close links between beings, nature and the universe. We all have the potential to be enlightened - nobody is left out because it is not an exclusive club - it really depends on what we want and chose to be.
So... to end this note... I would like to gently remind you that the quality of life that you have been dreaming of, is actually right under your own finger tips. No amount of advice, encouragement or assistance can help you if you ...yourself...do not have the courage to take on the challenge and owned it. Take a different attitude and rewrite your life's script. Experiment a little bit...and when you are ready take a leap.
Wishing all of us a beautiful end of 2014 and a splendid journey in 2015.
Bristol, 2014
