I use to stop short on prayers only. I prayed that I will be healthy, happy, in abundance etc. I daydream that - that one day...the perfect everything will be at my disposal, and only then that I will be fully satisfied... I use to imagine that "magic something" will come ( usually from out side, up there, beyond the stars) tap my shoulder and with all of its splendours will bathe me with wonderful things. Just like those Disney productions...tra..la...la..la..laa...one day...not too far from today.
But then... I began to listen to my own prayers, hopes and dreams... really listen and ponder to the words I mutter...and mirror those prayers on my own every day choices.
And I smile...even laughed at it...how on earth can I be healthy if I do not put my focus, commitment and behaviour towards being healthy? Praying to be happy, love/loved and fulfilled...now that is a pretty ambitious hope no? If all I can see is the bad side of things? Or now and then choosing to fall into the "victim bracket" of life's journey? Praying to be knowledgable if all I do is put my focus on one sided only? Restricted my mind to things that I hold dearly and not brave enough to venture out of my secluded box?
I am quiet certain that at least some of us had been on those "confused road"... when our prayers/hopes/dreams do not manifest in our "reality". It seems the more we pray the more we are down in the rut. The more hopes the more impossible to achieve etc. At the end...sometimes it is more like a rat race rather than a wonderful journey. The thing is...we tend to focus on the end results only and too often we fail to appreciate the process and endless opportunity to learn along the way.
For example, when we pray and hope to be happy...the circumstances that we are in sometimes "compelled" us to be otherwise. Everything is everything else other than happiness. But...is that true? What is happiness and being happy? Is it only at times when everything is well and going according to our wishes? Or can we afford to be happy and find happiness although things seem to be chaotic and out of control? Do we have that kind of strength to be happy in the face of uncertainty and despair? What kind of happiness that we are actually praying for? The same as praying and hoping to be in abundance...can we afford to still feel in abundance when reality dictates otherwise?
When we pray to be patient and loving...we tend to find circumstances that forced us to do other wise. Have you asked yourself, what does it mean? A many times before I have been in similar situation, until I am able to root myself and ponder... I am giving myself a situation/condition/drama to help me understand the true meaning of patience and loving. I am giving myself a chance to remove me from such circumstances and rise up to the challenges. Was I doubtful? Of course, fearful? Certainly. But I realise this is part of the answer to my prayer, part of my journey that I have to owned it up. And know that I am capable of learning the ways to be patient and loving in what ever situation that life chose to play with me.
The same with happiness and abundance...for nature do not come in values or labels... we tend to put those values and labels based on our own past experiences. We hold on so dearly to our memories while trying to live our self in the future. And neglect the present. ( doesn't quiet add up does it?)
In essence we are all looking for the same thing, to be Free, to have Love and to be Wholesome. The FLoW that we are looking is within each and every one of us. Since we are an intelligent being, we create our own reality, we added zest to it: challenges, fear, and doubts. We made ourself forget who we really are. And then we go on about our daily lives praying and praying base on fear and doubts trying to cope on the game we created.
The truth is:
I use my sight to feel,
I use words to create,
I use my hearing to see,
I use my touch to remember.
Look only to the things that will make me grow as human being;
Say something that will only make this world a better place;
Listen to something that my soul can recognise;
Touch the heart with all its splendours.
We are always creating and recreating our lives...constantly changing right at this very minute. Of course the past is important but only as learning curves not more than that. Believe that you are not who you are ten years ago, an hour ago or a minute ago...you are always afresh...ready to take new things every moment you draw your breath.
We must truly believe that we are an amazing being, capable of mastering our destiny. Make space in your mind, your heart and attitude to create something amazing. Act on you prayers, hopes and desires. When a challenge comes along...don't be riddled by it...you have the answer to its trickery.
I believe when one is enlighten it does not mean that they became a wizard and know it all. But they become truly aware and consciously responsible for their own thoughts and actions. Understanding the close links between beings, nature and the universe. We all have the potential to be enlightened - nobody is left out because it is not an exclusive club - it really depends on what we want and chose to be.
So... to end this note... I would like to gently remind you that the quality of life that you have been dreaming of, is actually right under your own finger tips. No amount of advice, encouragement or assistance can help you if you ...yourself...do not have the courage to take on the challenge and owned it. Take a different attitude and rewrite your life's script. Experiment a little bit...and when you are ready take a leap.
Wishing all of us a beautiful end of 2014 and a splendid journey in 2015.
Bristol, 2014
Sunday, 21 December 2014
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Cake of Life
You know what I think?
Life is similar to making a cake!!
I have a particular idea of how my cake is going to taste like, and how I am going to present it. But along the way, either I whisk it too long (my mind meandering to some place else) or I did not put enough ingredients to get the exact taste as I've tasted in my head. And of course it is still edible and everyone (probably out of courtesy) gave an approving nod. But I am not happy nor satisfied.
Thereby begs a question in my mind. Should we, women - as human being - try to pursue happiness or satisfaction? Can you be happy without being satisfied. Or when you are satisfied then happiness is inevitable or vice versa? Is there any difference between happiness and satisfaction?
Women in particular, are prone and willingly to make others happy - despite of our own circumstances, need and wants. As if we are born from the heaven to be a martyr; keeping the world, the family, the society, etc., a safe and happy place for everyone in it, but us. Are we satisfied to take on that position? Or is it out of duty and necessity that we bring our selves to always do "the right thing." Is it remotely possible to strike a balance?
Maybe we are just too lazy to take on the consequences and responsibilities of our own action (s), thereby it is easier to let anyone and everyone defined our own definition of happiness and satisfaction. "It's good enough" or "It's better than nothing."
But would you do that to your cake? Or would you try out different ingredients/tricks/style just to get that perfect bite that made you feel happy and satisfied - and that you know when people are going "hhhmmm...." and " aaaaahhh..." you know what they are feeling, because you felt it too.
Imagine if you have those feelings in all areas of your life? Are you willing to experiment with your outlook, your respond, etc., in the areas of your life that you are not "quiet" happy or satisfied with? Are you willing enough to take reign of your own life's ingredients? To be responsible of the consequences? And be loving of yourself enough even though you put too many or too little of something? To have that perfect taste of life that you are familiar with in your head.
I know...I know...maybe you will say...that is impossible ... no one in this world got a perfect life. Nothing is perfect. Really?
I think...if we can make a perfect cake/a perfect dish /a perfect...what ever...than there is a chance that we can also make our life perfect.
Cake of Life
Utensils:
* A Big Bowl of Commitment
* A warm oven of Gratitude
* A Tin of Responsibility
* Use Mindfulness for whisking
Ingredients:
* A Dash of Smiles
* One life of Confident
* One life of Loving
* A pinch of assertiveness and humour to taste.
* Feel free to add any decorations of feelings ...
Go on then...try it...
Life is similar to making a cake!!
I have a particular idea of how my cake is going to taste like, and how I am going to present it. But along the way, either I whisk it too long (my mind meandering to some place else) or I did not put enough ingredients to get the exact taste as I've tasted in my head. And of course it is still edible and everyone (probably out of courtesy) gave an approving nod. But I am not happy nor satisfied.
Thereby begs a question in my mind. Should we, women - as human being - try to pursue happiness or satisfaction? Can you be happy without being satisfied. Or when you are satisfied then happiness is inevitable or vice versa? Is there any difference between happiness and satisfaction?
Women in particular, are prone and willingly to make others happy - despite of our own circumstances, need and wants. As if we are born from the heaven to be a martyr; keeping the world, the family, the society, etc., a safe and happy place for everyone in it, but us. Are we satisfied to take on that position? Or is it out of duty and necessity that we bring our selves to always do "the right thing." Is it remotely possible to strike a balance?
Maybe we are just too lazy to take on the consequences and responsibilities of our own action (s), thereby it is easier to let anyone and everyone defined our own definition of happiness and satisfaction. "It's good enough" or "It's better than nothing."
But would you do that to your cake? Or would you try out different ingredients/tricks/style just to get that perfect bite that made you feel happy and satisfied - and that you know when people are going "hhhmmm...." and " aaaaahhh..." you know what they are feeling, because you felt it too.
Imagine if you have those feelings in all areas of your life? Are you willing to experiment with your outlook, your respond, etc., in the areas of your life that you are not "quiet" happy or satisfied with? Are you willing enough to take reign of your own life's ingredients? To be responsible of the consequences? And be loving of yourself enough even though you put too many or too little of something? To have that perfect taste of life that you are familiar with in your head.
I know...I know...maybe you will say...that is impossible ... no one in this world got a perfect life. Nothing is perfect. Really?
I think...if we can make a perfect cake/a perfect dish /a perfect...what ever...than there is a chance that we can also make our life perfect.
Cake of Life
Utensils:
* A Big Bowl of Commitment
* A warm oven of Gratitude
* A Tin of Responsibility
* Use Mindfulness for whisking
Ingredients:
* A Dash of Smiles
* One life of Confident
* One life of Loving
* A pinch of assertiveness and humour to taste.
* Feel free to add any decorations of feelings ...
Go on then...try it...
Tuesday, 14 October 2014
"Feel" button, what shape and colour is it?
So here I am sitting facing my laptop and at the same time looking at the soft pour of October rain through my kitchen window. Wondering what the rest of the women around my age is doing. What are their thoughts and feelings at this moment.
My thoughts? well she is clearly contemplating about feelings. And how easy is it is to forget it. And how often in our waking moments we put on our inner antenna to go looking for it. At all costs (sometimes!)
We tend to forget...how it is to feel beautiful, how it is to feel wonderful, how it is to feel appreciated, how it is to feel loved and love. And the list goes on and on...and on....
We could device a lifestyle that looked as if we don't care when those feelings slowly slipped away from our grip. We just go on doing our usual chores, like for example, making our morning coffee (gulp it) and prepare ourselves for our daily routine in a monotone robot like efficiency. Or...we can't be bothered to dwell on those feelings and just plaster it with exterior touch ups.
Looked like those breast are a bit droopy? perked it up!!, looked like those wrinkles around the eyes are calling passers by to admired it? stretched it up so it will be shy and be tucked away at least for the next appointment with the therapist.
But does anyone remember the last time we feel really...absolutely gorgeous? Despite the bags under the eyes, or the silver lining on the hair, face naked no makeup/hair extensions/ eyelash extensions? Can you? When was the last time you really looked at yourself and truly say: "my...I do look good!!"
Or the last time you looked at the sky and feel the sensation of falling in love? or even the sensation of those morning coffee liquid touch your mouth and tongue?
How can we find that "feeling" button in our head and have control over it?
Some will say, find your inner peace - meditate. Do what your intuitions tells you what to do, follow your heart and so on...but what does that actually mean?
How could one find their inner peace when one do not have a clue what inner peace is all about? How can you follow your heart, when you have forgotten how it feels to have a heart and owned it for that matter?
I hope I do not sound patronising but I think the biggest problem (or stumbling block) for so many of us, is that we tend to give ourself to be rated, to be painted at a certain light and angle, to be moulded, and to want to be accepted by the outside world and yet we hated the circumstances if the end results are not the same as what WE HOPED THEM TO BE!! And then the vicious circle continues...
We get confused a lot of the time, and be broken hearted many times ( and normally this is the time when we do remember those feelings: however limited to only the despair and sad bits). And when we are left with our own device...the first thing we do is to go and find someone who can tell us what to do (translation:"excuse me, do you happen to be interested in moulding me? my last mould is a bit in a shamble...")
Of course there are really strong admirable women...who we tend to call them a bitch :)) but are they really a bitch though? or they are simply the ones who refuses to be moulded by others and create their own unique stamp in this world?
What I mean by strong admirable women, it is not necessary the kind that talks incessantly or harsh, or abrasive. But the kinds that knew who they are, what they want and how to get what they want, and most importantly be responsible of wanting and having it.
I wonder if those women always remember how it felt...to become beautiful, to appreciate, to love and be loving, and to be thankful.
What shape and colour of their "feel" button in their head, I wonder?
So here I am sitting facing my laptop and at the same time looking at the soft pour of October rain through my kitchen window. Wondering what the rest of the women around my age is doing. What are their thoughts and feelings at this moment.
My thoughts? well she is clearly contemplating about feelings. And how easy is it is to forget it. And how often in our waking moments we put on our inner antenna to go looking for it. At all costs (sometimes!)
We tend to forget...how it is to feel beautiful, how it is to feel wonderful, how it is to feel appreciated, how it is to feel loved and love. And the list goes on and on...and on....
We could device a lifestyle that looked as if we don't care when those feelings slowly slipped away from our grip. We just go on doing our usual chores, like for example, making our morning coffee (gulp it) and prepare ourselves for our daily routine in a monotone robot like efficiency. Or...we can't be bothered to dwell on those feelings and just plaster it with exterior touch ups.
Looked like those breast are a bit droopy? perked it up!!, looked like those wrinkles around the eyes are calling passers by to admired it? stretched it up so it will be shy and be tucked away at least for the next appointment with the therapist.
But does anyone remember the last time we feel really...absolutely gorgeous? Despite the bags under the eyes, or the silver lining on the hair, face naked no makeup/hair extensions/ eyelash extensions? Can you? When was the last time you really looked at yourself and truly say: "my...I do look good!!"
Or the last time you looked at the sky and feel the sensation of falling in love? or even the sensation of those morning coffee liquid touch your mouth and tongue?
How can we find that "feeling" button in our head and have control over it?
Some will say, find your inner peace - meditate. Do what your intuitions tells you what to do, follow your heart and so on...but what does that actually mean?
How could one find their inner peace when one do not have a clue what inner peace is all about? How can you follow your heart, when you have forgotten how it feels to have a heart and owned it for that matter?
I hope I do not sound patronising but I think the biggest problem (or stumbling block) for so many of us, is that we tend to give ourself to be rated, to be painted at a certain light and angle, to be moulded, and to want to be accepted by the outside world and yet we hated the circumstances if the end results are not the same as what WE HOPED THEM TO BE!! And then the vicious circle continues...
We get confused a lot of the time, and be broken hearted many times ( and normally this is the time when we do remember those feelings: however limited to only the despair and sad bits). And when we are left with our own device...the first thing we do is to go and find someone who can tell us what to do (translation:"excuse me, do you happen to be interested in moulding me? my last mould is a bit in a shamble...")
Of course there are really strong admirable women...who we tend to call them a bitch :)) but are they really a bitch though? or they are simply the ones who refuses to be moulded by others and create their own unique stamp in this world?
What I mean by strong admirable women, it is not necessary the kind that talks incessantly or harsh, or abrasive. But the kinds that knew who they are, what they want and how to get what they want, and most importantly be responsible of wanting and having it.
I wonder if those women always remember how it felt...to become beautiful, to appreciate, to love and be loving, and to be thankful.
What shape and colour of their "feel" button in their head, I wonder?
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